Lost - "The Hour Of Realisation & Lost Photos"

(From Top Left to Bottom Right - Novemeber 2006, February 2008, May 2008, January 2009)

Well, I've done it again.
I've lost 1000 photos by not bothering to get a memory stick.

I burned every photo onto a pair of discs and when I came to use them - the photos were gone.

Oh. Bloody. Hell.

I have lost every photo i've ever taken, right back to 2006.

Including photos of when my nephew was born.

Like my mam says, "there's nothing you can do about it now so don't let it get to you."

Today kinda got me thinking.
I must be here for a reason, nobody survives seven car accidents for nothing but i can't believe it's taken me so long to realise i've taken so much for granted and i've become something i'm not.
I've lost respect for people who desrve it. I hardly go out anymore when i used to go out on my bike or to the park nearly every day. I've moulded my image and dyed my hair so people would accept me instead of being myself. I've put on weight when i knew i could prevent it. I've taken and put up with more bullshit than my old self would have allowed. I've started smoking when i swore i never would and i let myself get into stupid situations because i'm subconciously attracted to the drama.

Some people might say that you change as you get older and yeah, i suppose you do. But you don't force it to happen or let it. Not like i did.
So i guess it's time for me to let it go and be myself. Whether people like it or not. I was happier before i messed my own life up. I'm gonna put it right.

So here's list of focus points:

• Respect people more.
• Go out on my bike or at least visit new places once a week.
• Lose the weight i let myself put on.
• Dye my hair it's root colour - and then never dye it again...or cut it.
• Be myself - no matter what people say or think.
• Stop being afraid to like things because it's not what others like.
• Don't become part of any stereotype.

I really hope i can do this.

♥