Well, I finished it with my boyfriend.
We were on about when and where we were going to sleep together our first time and he asked me to sleep with someone else then go back to him because he'd be too nervous to do it.
I felt cheap and dirty and it made me wonder whether he was telling the truth about being nervous, or whether he'd done something and was trying to set me up before i found out.
I don't know.
Yet after i left him today, i spoke with him over MSN and normally he'd have flipped out and been real upset or real mad.
But he wasn't. He was calm.
Yet again it makes me wonder if he did something with another girl and he's just relieved that i didn't find out what and with whom.
God, relationships are so emotionally exhausting.
Now i don't know what to do. My dad and brother would kill him if they found out what he said and my mum practically banned me from seeing him or speaking to him after she found out.
Maybe i should listen to my heart, as Vez + Matty have told me to do countless times.
Yet, somehow, I can never hear it.
Right now, i'm thinking of that Mariah Carey song: One & Only.
That one and Shake It Off.
Well, we'll see what tomorrow brings....and maybe, just maybe, i'll start attracting some new shit.
Wish me the best.
x
Monday 11 May 2009
Thursday 7 May 2009
My Fave Vampire Academy Series Quotes x
"You can't force love, I realized. It's there or it isn't. If it's not there, you've got to be able to admit it. If it is there, you've got to do whatever it takes to protect the ones you love." — Rose (Frostbite)
"Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies." — Richelle Mead (Vampire Academy)
"The spell. Victor said you had to want me... to care about me... for it to work."
When he didn't say anything, I tried to grip his shirt, but my fingers were too weak.
"Did you? Did you want me?"
His words came out thickly. "Yes, Roza. I did want you. I still do. I wish... we could be together." "Then why did you lie to me?"
We reached the clinic, and he managed to open the door while still holding me. As soon as he stepped inside, he began yelling for help.
"Why did you lie?" I murmured again. Still holding me in his arms, he looked down at me. I could hear voices and footsteps getting closer.
"Because we can't be together."
"Because of the age thing, right?" I asked. "Because you're my mentor?"
His fingertip gently wiped away a tear that had escaped down my cheek. "That's part of it," he said. "But also... well, you and I will both be Lissa's gaurdians someday. I need to protect her at all costs. If a pack of Strogoi come, I need to throw my body between them and her."
"I know that. Of course that's what you have to do."
The black sparkles were dancing in front of my eyes again. I was fading out.
"No. If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you." — Rose & Dimitri (Vampire Academy)
I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Are you lost, little girl? The elementary school's over on west campus."
A pink flush spread over her cheeks. "Don't you ever touch me again. You screw with me, I'll screw you right back."
Oh man, what an opening that was. — Rose & Mia (Vampire Academy)
""You will lose what you value most, so treasure it while you can."" — The Fortune Teller (Shadow Kiss)
"Yeah. We were badasses." — Rose (Shadow Kiss)
He stepped back and threw his arms out.
"I'm always crazy around you Rose. Here, I'm going to write an impromptu poem for you." He tipped his head back and shouted to the sky: "Rose is in red But never in blue Sharp as a thron Fights like one too." ~Adrian (Shadow Kiss)
"You know what would help?" I asked, not meeting his eyes.
"Hmm?"
"If you turned off this crap music and put on something that came out after the Berlin Wall went down."
Dimitri laughted. "Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe."
"Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade."
Still smiling, he turned the radio dail. To a country station.
"Hey! This isn't what I had in mind," I exclaimed. I could tell he was on the verge of laughing again.
"Pick. It's one or the other."
I sighed. "Go back to the 1980s stuff."
He flipped the dail, and I crossed my arms over my chest as some vaguely European-sounding band sang about how video had killed the radio star.
I wished someone would kill this radio." — Rose & Dimitri (Frostbite)
"can you read my mind now?" i asked ruefully.
"No, i can just read you. Finally. I can't belive how blind I was. I can't belive i never noticed. Victors comment... he was right."A flash of anger, both her feelings and her eyes hit me. "Why didn't you tell." She cried. "Why didn't you tell me you loved Dimitri!" - Rose & Lissa (Shadow Kiss)
"What's up?" I asked.
"You tell me," he (Christian) said. "You were the one about ready to start making out with Adrian."
"It was an experiment," I said. "It was part of my therapy."
"What the hell kind of therapy are you in?" — Christian & Rose (Shadow Kiss)
"Smiling, I cut across the quadrangle toward the commons. I felt better about life than I had in a very long time. We could do this, Lissa and me. We could do this together." — Rose (Vampire Academy)
"Adrian will you shut the fuck up for five seconds?!!!" — Rose (Shadow Kiss)
"It's not about you, okay? This time, it's about me. Not you. All my life, Lissa... all my life, it's been the same. They come first. I've lived my life for you. I've trained to be your shadow, but you know what? I want to come first. I need to take care of myself for once. I'm tired of looking out for everyone else and having to put aside what I want. Dimitri and I did that, and look what happened. He's gone. I will never hold him again. Now I owe it to him to do this. I'm sorry if it hurts you, but it's my choice!" - Rose Hathaway (Shadow Kiss)
"I set off, off to kill the man I love." — Rose (Shadow Kiss)
"If you want some advice-which I'm sure you don't-you guys should lay off on the magic. Christian still thinks you're movin in on Lissa."
"What?" he asked in mock astonishment. "Dosen't he know my heart belongs to you?"
"It does not. And no, he's still worried about it, despite what I've told him."
"You know, I bet if we started making out right now, it would make him feel better."
"If you touch me," I said pleasantly, "I'll provide you with the opportunity to see if you can heal yourself. Then we'd see how badass you really are." — Rose & Adrian (Shadow Kiss)
"Everyone has light around them, except for you. You have shadows." — Adrian (About Rose) (Frostbite)
"Did you see that dress?”
"I saw the dress.”
"Did you like it?” He didn't answer. I took that as a yes. "Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance?”
When he spoke, I could barely hear him.
"You'll endanger the school.” I smiled and fell asleep. - Rose & Dimitri (Vampire Academy)
"You…you got rid of that dress fast," I pointed out between heavy breaths. "I thought you liked it.”
"I do like it," he said. His breathing was as heavy as mine. "I love it.” And then he took me to the bed. - Rose & Dimitri (Vampire Academy)
"i'm sure. but it doesn't work with me. for one thing, you won't look me in the eye. as for the other... i don't know. i can just tell." - Dimitri (About Rose) (Shadow Kiss)
x
"Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies." — Richelle Mead (Vampire Academy)
"The spell. Victor said you had to want me... to care about me... for it to work."
When he didn't say anything, I tried to grip his shirt, but my fingers were too weak.
"Did you? Did you want me?"
His words came out thickly. "Yes, Roza. I did want you. I still do. I wish... we could be together." "Then why did you lie to me?"
We reached the clinic, and he managed to open the door while still holding me. As soon as he stepped inside, he began yelling for help.
"Why did you lie?" I murmured again. Still holding me in his arms, he looked down at me. I could hear voices and footsteps getting closer.
"Because we can't be together."
"Because of the age thing, right?" I asked. "Because you're my mentor?"
His fingertip gently wiped away a tear that had escaped down my cheek. "That's part of it," he said. "But also... well, you and I will both be Lissa's gaurdians someday. I need to protect her at all costs. If a pack of Strogoi come, I need to throw my body between them and her."
"I know that. Of course that's what you have to do."
The black sparkles were dancing in front of my eyes again. I was fading out.
"No. If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you." — Rose & Dimitri (Vampire Academy)
I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Are you lost, little girl? The elementary school's over on west campus."
A pink flush spread over her cheeks. "Don't you ever touch me again. You screw with me, I'll screw you right back."
Oh man, what an opening that was. — Rose & Mia (Vampire Academy)
""You will lose what you value most, so treasure it while you can."" — The Fortune Teller (Shadow Kiss)
"Yeah. We were badasses." — Rose (Shadow Kiss)
He stepped back and threw his arms out.
"I'm always crazy around you Rose. Here, I'm going to write an impromptu poem for you." He tipped his head back and shouted to the sky: "Rose is in red But never in blue Sharp as a thron Fights like one too." ~Adrian (Shadow Kiss)
"You know what would help?" I asked, not meeting his eyes.
"Hmm?"
"If you turned off this crap music and put on something that came out after the Berlin Wall went down."
Dimitri laughted. "Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe."
"Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade."
Still smiling, he turned the radio dail. To a country station.
"Hey! This isn't what I had in mind," I exclaimed. I could tell he was on the verge of laughing again.
"Pick. It's one or the other."
I sighed. "Go back to the 1980s stuff."
He flipped the dail, and I crossed my arms over my chest as some vaguely European-sounding band sang about how video had killed the radio star.
I wished someone would kill this radio." — Rose & Dimitri (Frostbite)
"can you read my mind now?" i asked ruefully.
"No, i can just read you. Finally. I can't belive how blind I was. I can't belive i never noticed. Victors comment... he was right."A flash of anger, both her feelings and her eyes hit me. "Why didn't you tell." She cried. "Why didn't you tell me you loved Dimitri!" - Rose & Lissa (Shadow Kiss)
"What's up?" I asked.
"You tell me," he (Christian) said. "You were the one about ready to start making out with Adrian."
"It was an experiment," I said. "It was part of my therapy."
"What the hell kind of therapy are you in?" — Christian & Rose (Shadow Kiss)
"Smiling, I cut across the quadrangle toward the commons. I felt better about life than I had in a very long time. We could do this, Lissa and me. We could do this together." — Rose (Vampire Academy)
"Adrian will you shut the fuck up for five seconds?!!!" — Rose (Shadow Kiss)
"It's not about you, okay? This time, it's about me. Not you. All my life, Lissa... all my life, it's been the same. They come first. I've lived my life for you. I've trained to be your shadow, but you know what? I want to come first. I need to take care of myself for once. I'm tired of looking out for everyone else and having to put aside what I want. Dimitri and I did that, and look what happened. He's gone. I will never hold him again. Now I owe it to him to do this. I'm sorry if it hurts you, but it's my choice!" - Rose Hathaway (Shadow Kiss)
"I set off, off to kill the man I love." — Rose (Shadow Kiss)
"If you want some advice-which I'm sure you don't-you guys should lay off on the magic. Christian still thinks you're movin in on Lissa."
"What?" he asked in mock astonishment. "Dosen't he know my heart belongs to you?"
"It does not. And no, he's still worried about it, despite what I've told him."
"You know, I bet if we started making out right now, it would make him feel better."
"If you touch me," I said pleasantly, "I'll provide you with the opportunity to see if you can heal yourself. Then we'd see how badass you really are." — Rose & Adrian (Shadow Kiss)
"Everyone has light around them, except for you. You have shadows." — Adrian (About Rose) (Frostbite)
"Did you see that dress?”
"I saw the dress.”
"Did you like it?” He didn't answer. I took that as a yes. "Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance?”
When he spoke, I could barely hear him.
"You'll endanger the school.” I smiled and fell asleep. - Rose & Dimitri (Vampire Academy)
"You…you got rid of that dress fast," I pointed out between heavy breaths. "I thought you liked it.”
"I do like it," he said. His breathing was as heavy as mine. "I love it.” And then he took me to the bed. - Rose & Dimitri (Vampire Academy)
"i'm sure. but it doesn't work with me. for one thing, you won't look me in the eye. as for the other... i don't know. i can just tell." - Dimitri (About Rose) (Shadow Kiss)
x
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